Goodbye hair - an update

If you will allow me liberties, it is about to get a little heartfelt up in here :-)

I cut off all my hair to donate to Locks of Love - an organization that makes wigs for children losing their hair to cancer treatments.  If you want the truth of how I feel about this drastic cut of mine, here it comes.  If you don't want the truth, you might want to stop reading now :-)

Truth be told, I am not a fan of this new haircut and really trying to not have regrets :-(  My hair has never been this short.  I don't even want to post a picture (but I will ... at the end).  A little "whoops" moment, led to having to go a little bit shorter than anticipated and in the end I was a little shocked.  Throughout the whole haircutting experience, I just kept saying (with a smile on my face), "Just do what you need to fix it."  "It's ok."  Laugh, laugh, smile, smile.  I did not want the girl cutting my hair to feel bad.

But the honest truth is that I am struggling with the reflection in the mirror.  It's shocking and I just keep telling myself that it will grow in to some normality in a month.

I try to reflect on the reason I decided to cut off all my hair - to help someone else.  I don't have a lot to give, so it really does feel good to give what I have.  A small gesture of taking scissors to my hair will help a child battling cancer and also bless a parent who just wants their child to feel special and normal.

As I don't like what I see in the mirror, I can't imagine what it must feel like to look in a mirror and have an absence of hair remind me of an illness that ravishes the body and takes away life.

It's amazing how much something as simple as a hairstyle can really effect self esteem.  It is vicious lies that don't give an accurate representation of what is reflected in the mirror.  As one who has always struggled with how she looks (and I know I am not alone there), this little hair incident gives me a greater opportunity to seek the truth of what looks back at me in the mirror.

What is the truth?
- I am created by a Master Artist and He has made me beautiful.  I am a reflection of His glory, His love, and His beauty.

Song of Songs 7:6 - "How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!"
Psalm 45:11 - "The king is enthralled with your beauty.  Honor him for he is your lord."

In the past I have raved about my favorite book (which I will be re-reading in this season).  I even gave one away.  The book is called "God Loves Ugly" by Christa Black.  It's actually out of print right now (but coming back in September 2012), so I am so grateful for my parents sending me another copy for Christmas :-)

Here is a video of Jordin Sparks singing the song from the book and sharing what it means to her:


Here is another song that I anticipate I will be listening to alot :-)

I know that I am not the only one that has these moments of struggling with what is in the mirror, so I write in this state of vulnerability knowing that there might be someone else who needs it too.  I am not fishing for compliments, just sharing my heart and struggles - grateful for the journey because I know that in the end there is a precious gift of worth and value that God bestows on me :-)

Oh right, I promised a picture didn't I - well, here ya go:

At least my smile has not changed :-)

Remember this?

Today I took a trip to the library to return some books and pick up a new fictional read.  I found this:

*Gasp*

Do you remember the Sweet Valley series?  I LOVED it when I was younger.

I have memories sitting in the back of my grandparent's car on the way to dinner reading these:

And then Elizabeth and Jessica grew up and went to High School:

This one stressed me out and I am pretty sure it made me cry a little too:

Then we were given a little glimpse into their family tree through the Sweet Valley Saga.  I loved them!!  They were my favorite:

I totally happened upon the newest Sweet Valley book in the library today and it brought so much excitement.  Not gonna lie, I am really looking forward to reading how Francine Pascal transforms Elizabeth and Jessica into an adult novel.  These twins were such a part of my childhood and made reading so much fun.

Hmmm, I wonder what "The Babysitter's Club" - 10 years later would look like :-)

Currently reading...and my first blog giveaway!!

------- This giveaway is closed ---------

So, there's this book...

I talked about it in my last blog post...raved about it in my last blog post.

Was halfway through on my last blog post and now I am on Chapter 1.

Chapter 1?  You might say, "Um, Melany.  Isn't that a little backwards."

Nope.  I finished it and then started right back on Chapter 1 :-)  Yes, I am reading it again already.

Oh my word.  Never in my life has a book hit so to the core as this one.

It really did meet me on a journey towards worth.  I needed this book.  I was desperate for this message.

I have been believing lies for a very very very long time.  For a very very long time I have looked in the mirror and hated what stared back at me.  No matter what anyone else had told me, I have always had a hard time seeing beauty in myself, but that ends here.

I have felt so unworthy of blessings and have beat myself up.  I have been my own worst enemy.  I have spoken too many words of death and defeat over myself and believed things that were not true - and it ends now.  No more.

I guess that I am so addicted to this book because it has been the icing on the cake of a journey God has had me on - a sweet sweet covering with roses and sugared grapes :-)

It feels so good to look in the mirror and see a beautiful face staring back - to see a woman worthy of love and blessings.  I am looking at that face in the mirror with new eyes.  For once, I am starting to like what I see :-)

I posted on Facebook the other day that if I was rich I would buy this book for every female that I know.  It's true - I would.

Alas, I am not rich BUT I do have a piggy bank :-)

So I emptied out my piggy bank and bought another copy of this book to give away.

Isn't my piggy cute?  I love him :-)

It's my very first blog giveaway!!!!!  Yeah!!!!  I am so excited!!!!  Can you tell?

So, here is how it will go:
Just leave a comment and answer this question:

What is one of your favorite things about yourself?

I will get you started with an example - One of my favorite things about myself is my laugh - I have a great laugh :-)  And I laugh a lot (just ask anyone that has been around me for more than 5 minutes)

Now it's your turn - I know there are so many fabulous things about you.  Tell us one of your favorites...
    ... it could make you a winner :-)

Ps. If you read this blogpost off my Facebook, you may also leave a comment on Facebook to count as your entry.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Winner will be chosen on Monday, April 25.

Currently Reading (a new favorite?)

I am reading a book that absolutely has me captivated and is pretty much moving "Captivating" by Stasi and John Eldredge down a notch on my favorite books list.

The book is called "God Loves Ugly (& love makes beautiful)" by Christa Black:

I saw an ad for this book in Relevant Magazine.  It is based on a song written by Christa Black called "God Loves Ugly".  I went to itunes and downloaded the song and after listening to it knew that I just had to have the book (you can listen to the entire song here).  I was then disappointed to find that the book is not available as a digital edition, but sort of felt like this is a book that I would want to pass along for others to read anyway.

So my copy arrived last week and I started it yesterday.  I am now halfway through and I'll tell you what, this book absolutely hits it on the head for me in so many areas.  My gosh!!!  There is a sea of pink highlighting the pages of my copy.

I know that it is probably mostly gals that read this blog, so I am going to speak to the ladies and say, "Girl!  Go get this book!"

On the back cover of the book, there is a question posed:  "Do you ever look in the mirror and hate what you see?"  (I know that for me, I rarely look in the mirror and DO like what I see - but God is changing that)  The synopsis on the back cover continues to say: "Your eyes can lie. [Amen to that!] Rejection, shame, and self-hatred can poison perceptions and hinder us from seeing and believing what's actually true .... You were made to live free.  Whether you are struggling with an eating disorder, depression, addiction, or just feeling a little insecure, God Loves Ugly will shift the way you think, motivate permanent change, and inspire your heart to find peace."

I can honestly say that if I had the money I would buy multiple copies of this book and just give them away - the message is THAT important.  For me personally, God has been hitting the subject of worth, beauty, and love in many different areas of my life.  I was actually thinking earlier of how much I am loving this journey that I am on.  My life is just being so filled with affirmation through books, music, and things that others have spoken to me.  I just want to keep filling into the tank because pouring affirming words into ourselves is pouring His truth in.  (I also have a story from this past week of some lies that I have found as well and what I did with it.  I will share that story in a few days.)

So, ladies, read this book.  I think that I will actually be putting it on my list of books to read at least once a year.  It's good, good, good!!!

Currently Reading (a change in perspective)

My final thoughts about the book Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond:

I posted about this book a few days ago here.  I was a huge skeptic at that point, but you know what - a lot changed.  In the matter of 24 hours, a lot changed.

In the midst of these closing thoughts, I have to go down the "life with God" track a little bit.  And I love that it is necessary.  I love that God is a part of every aspect of my life and that writing final thoughts about a book I have been reading means that I have to share about what He is teaching me.

I have been doing this Bible study through DC Metro church called Breaking Free by the wonderful Beth Moore.

This past week, I procrastinated big time on my homework and wound up having to do pretty much all of it on Tuesday (the day that my group meets).  So here I was poised to do my Bible study homework having just the previous night written about the skepticism I have about love, and what was the subject of my Bible study that week - Love!  Coincidence? - I don't think so.  It was through doing that homework that God really reminded me of the fact that I am worthy of radical love.  I learned a lot about myself and my viewpoint (which are both currently under construction).

After doing that weeks worth of homework, I went back into reading this love story called "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" with different eyes.  Eyes that were not blinded by skepticism but realized that yes indeed and most definitely these things do happen and they will someday happen for me.

Final thoughts on the book:
It's good.
It's real life (which has lots of ups and downs).
I highly recommend it.
It makes me want to move to Oklahoma and go from ranch to ranch looking for the single cowboys, which has never been my type.  I lean more towards the rugged in an adventurous, stubble faced, laid back, jeans and t-shirt wearing, risk taker sort of way.  I guess this book challenged my views in many ways :-)

Now, if you will excuse me, I have lots of packing to do...Oklahoma beckons me.

I am, of course, kidding about the above statement (just wanted to clarify).

Currently reading (this can't be for real)

I am currently reading a book by one of my favorite bloggers The Pioneer Woman (Ree Drummond).  Her blog is absolutely wonderful.  You can find it here.  You should check it out if you are not already a follower.  She is super funny, has great recipes, and is an amazing photographer ... actually, maybe you should NOT go check out her blog.  It sets the bar way too high :-)

For my birthday present, my parents went to a book signing and got me autographed copies of both her book and her cookbook.  I was beyond thrilled to get them last month.  They are not only autographed by Ree, but her husband (the Marlboro Man) was there to sign as well.  Evidently everyone at the book signing swooned to have such a dreamy surprise guest ... well all the women that is.  Not so much my dad, the lone male who did not really realize what he was getting himself into by attending (but had a fabulous time anyway).  I would love to have some pictures to show you, but my mother (the one who always has the camera ready) did not have her camera.  For the love! :-)

So I started reading this book today:  The Pioneer Woman - Black Heels to Tractor Wheels (A Love Story).  It is the story of how the Pioneer Woman met and fell in love with her Marlboro Man.  You can also read the blog chapter version here.

I started this book today.

I am almost half way through already.

I started swooning at about page 18.

I have to admit, as I have been reading this story I have found myself thinking, "Is this for real?  There's no way.  This sort of stuff only happens in movies.  No guy is actually that chivalrous.  Guys don't actually pursue a girl that way in real life, do they?"

Through all my skepticism, I don't doubt the validity of this story.  My mom told me today that after meeting them, you can tell that "It's for real."  So, it just so turns out that these things do happen - and that can give a gal some hope ;-)

So, all that to say - I am reading a really good book right now.  I recommend it as a good read.  It has led me to realize that I am a little bit of a skeptic over the whole love and romance thing, but I probably would not mind that skepticism being challenged :-)

Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go settle in for the night with a good book :-)

What to Read

As I mentioned in my last post, I wanted to gather together some resources to suggest for anyone who might be interested in learning more about modern day slavery. The following are some books that I have read. I actually started to say "enjoyed reading", but let's face it: they are not the most enjoyable books to read. This is heavy stuff we are talking about. In fact, usually when I read a book on modern day slavery, I have to chase with some light fictional reading (something that you could probably find in the youth section of the bookstore). But as hard as these books can be, I think it is really good to keep ourselves aware of the stories of others. After all, they can't just lay their current circumstances aside and go on to a "light fictional read". This is their life.

Ok, so I have to admit that the last time I started this book I got distracted and put it down for awhile. Then I let someone else borrow it and now I am picking it back up again. Anyone care to join me in this read? More information here.

I read this book years ago when I was on a mission trip to Uganda. Being in Africa really brought this story to life even more for me. It's about a child soldier in Sierra Leone. You can find out more about the book and the amazing boy who lived the story here.

Gary Haugan is the president and CEO of International Justice Mission (an organization here in DC that I would love to work for). This was the first overview that I read of modern day slavery. You can find more information and purchase the book at the International Justice Mission website here.

This book gives stories of different individuals who have been caught in the trap of modern day slavery. Each is a story that ends with the redemptive freedom only Jesus can offer. This story also includes questions to help the reader think even deeper into what they are reading (I like that part). More information can be found here.

This story gives a little glimpse of what slavery looks like in our own backyard. It is the story of a girl in California who turns to drugs and prostitution as a means of survival and how she turns her life around. More information about the author and the book here.

This is another book that I have not actually read, but it has been waiting for me on my Amazon wish list for awhile. Harmony Dust is a girl who was once an exotic dancer and who now has a ministry called Treasures, which reaches out to exotic dancers on the west coast. This is the story of how her life was transformed. More information here.

There is a short little list of books that have really touched my heart and challenged me. Feel free to post a comment with any book that you think may need to be added to the list. I love recommendations :-)