I can't sleep.
I woke up about 2 hours ago thinking that my alarm was going to go off any minute. So I laid in bed trying to soak up those last few minutes of sleep. Finally I succumbed to my alertness and dragged myself out of bed only to find that it was a little bit after midnight. Sigh - evidently my body thinks that 2 hours of sleep is enough (it is wrong).
But really it is my mind that leaves me in this state of insomnia. It won't turn off. I really wish that it would, but my thoughts have been doing overtime - and it's not super fun.
My last few moments of alertness before drifting off to my 2 hour sleep were spent asking God to turn my thoughts off. To take away all the ugly things going on my head.
My mind has been a battle ground lately. I have been confronted with an arsenal of lies. They are not new lies. It's the same ol' battle shooting arrows at my self worth. And though I have faced these thoughts before, I find myself struggling to embrace truth.
God spoke three words to me tonight that serve as a shield to ward of the lies:
"You are enough"
I am enough!!
I am beautiful enough because He made me.
I am kind and compassionate enough because He sees the genuineness in my heart to love others.
I am likable enough because He likes me.
I am strong enough because His strength is mine.
I am wise enough because He gives me wisdom.
Even in my greatest downfalls and weakness, I am enough because He is enough and He gives me everything that He is to cover my faults.
So, I am not perfect - but I am enough.
Fighting off lies is a continual war for me, but realizing them for the toxins that they are wins one battle at a time. I just need to surround myself with truth. For me, this means listening to worship music, spending time reading the Bible, and writing myself words of encouragement. My favorite place to write encouraging words is on my mirror with a dry erase marker (for me, that is where the greatest fight against lies is fought - standing in front of the mirror):
So, if you find yourself waging war against the thoughts in your head, just know that you are enough.
And for another great blogpost, check out what the amazing Jessica has to say HERE. Seriously - she is awesome. Go read it :-)