Sleepless ramblings

It is 2:45 am and I can't sleep. I think that there was a point when I was actually sleeping, but now I am not. I woke up around 1:45 and read this blog, which led to this blog and now my heart is too awake to be able to sleep. So I thought I would share about how God has been leading me to moments of insomnia lately.

I often wake up in the middle of the night as a stirring from the Lord. Sometimes He wakes me up with it on my heart to pray for someone. Other times, I wake in a state of worship because I had been worshipping in my sleep. There are also times when I am just jolted awake with a revelation of Him and how He sees me (He did that a week and a half ago and it was really cool). And then there are the times that I can't get to sleep because God just wants to spend time with me.

There have been many times over the years that I have had these sort of middle of the night experiences. However, a few months ago I realized that I had been missing the intimacy that I used to love so much with my middle of the night God time. I think it was because there are many times that God would wake me in the middle of the night and I would have a bad attitude about it. My response would be "God, can we get this over with so I can go back to sleep." (Yuck, such a stinky attitude). The result of the bad attitude was a loss in that intimacy. God simply did not wake me up much anymore.

As my heart for the deep intimacy has returned, God has responded. The truth is, I really do want God to wake me up with the things on His heart and to be able to pray into them in the middle of the night. It reminds me of the phrase in Song of Solomon 5:2 that says "I slept but my heart was awake". It has become a prayer of mine that my heart would remain awake while I sleep.

I love that God wakes me up because He just does not want to wait till the morning to spend time with me. Or perhaps, it's that He knows that I will not give Him the time that He wants in the morning (ok, I feel challenged and am going to work on that). I can't sleep right now, but I know that God is going to give me everything that I need for tomorrow. That's just the way He works.

I will finish up this post, read my Bible some, journal, and maybe get back to sleep around 4 or so. Remarkably, I will have more energy tomorrow than if I had gone to sleep at 10. God's just good that way. So, here I am Lord. Let's talk. What do you want to share with me these early hours of the day :-)