So what has led to my grand moment of realization? - a change with my job. It was a temporary job and now it has become permanent. I have reached the moment with this job that I have been waiting for months to see come to fruition. Now here it is - so why is it freaking me out so much?
I'll tell you why.
It makes me feel like this is where I am settling down. And I never would have thought that I would settle down here - Washington, DC. I was supposed to be passing through for one year. That was the plan. One year - then off to Asia ... I have been here 3.5 years.
Over the past few days it has really been hitting me hard that my accepting a permanent position at work means that I intend to be in this job for at least a few more years. That means that this is my home - and I don't quite know how I feel about that. Don't get me wrong - DC is great, but it is definitely not where I pictured myself for a lengthy amount of time.
My life plans and expectations are rarely met the way I envision they would be. But when things don't go the way I thought they would, it's always because there is something better waiting on the horizon.
Years ago, there was an event that turned my world completely upside down. After learning that I was being laid off from my job, God led me to Isaiah 55: 8,9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." God wound up taking the event of me losing my job and used it to launch me on a journey into destiny - a journey that literally took me around the world.
Honestly, I don't fully know where my place is here in DC. But the way I see it - God has me here for a reason, He is keeping me here for a reason ... and I look forward to seeing what the future unfolds :-)