Have you ever had a very vivid dream and woken up remembering it, but not really realizing that you remember it? It somehow seems so real that perhaps it really happened so you find yourself thinking, "Maybe that was just a part of my day and not a dream." Then there is something that happens that shoots that dream to the forefront of your mind and you realize that it was indeed a dream and a reoccurring one at that.
I had one of those moments of remembrance yesterday. I was sitting at the table with Katie as she read me a chapter from her book, when all of a sudden I remembered a reoccurring dream that I have been having for a long time. The dream actually varies in its details but there is always this point when I am running but going nowhere. It is sort of a feeling of running in water. Where you are trying to push forward but there is something holding you back. Even right now as I think about it, I can literally feel it (weird).
As I was thinking on this reoccurring dream of mine, I realized that it is often how I feel. There is so much on my mind and so much I want to do with my life, but I just feel like there is something causing some resistance. For me, I just feel like I am waiting for the right door to open. I know that I am exactly where I need to be and am loving every minute of it, but there is still so much more. There lies within me the desire to push through and get to that which really truly fuels my fire of my purpose on this earth.
As I recognize the want for more and the resistance that I face, that word "resistance" takes on so much meaning. When it comes to my desire to be in Asia, I believe the resistance is from the Lord. This is a season of training and rebuilding that is very vital for God's plans and purpose for my life. Then there is also another deep desire within me. One that fuels my daily existence in every circumstance and situation. This is my desire to learn more and go deeper with God and the resistance felt in that area is definitely a tool of the enemy. I definitely don't want to bow to that resistance. I have everything I need to make that one cease and desist right now (in Jesus' name!).
So, I guess that I am learning a lot about resistance...and running. And speaking of running: I am going to start doing it in the physical sense and not just in my dreams. While I am writing about this whole running and dreams thing, I will just put it out there that I have realized that I have unknowingly let this dream of mine, dictate my unbelief. Meaning that, for sometime I have desired to take up running but have felt that I can't do it. Like I said before, this dream that I have been having seemed so very real that I felt that it has been happening in the real world (strange, I know, but very true). My dear friend Andrea has fueled the flame under this desire of mine to take up running. Evidently I can even run a 5K this summer. Wow, this summer. If that happens, then we know that God performs miracles :)
I am really looking forward to seeing victory in my life on all accounts of pushing through. Pushing through to soak the marrow out of the season of training and rebuilding that God has me in; pushing through to go deeper with Him; and pushing through to run a 5K. All very important and all very vital to my growth and preparation. So, I'm lacing up the sneakers and running: not away from something...but towards it.